We’ve all heard of over-achievers, but have you heard of over-givers?
With this being the season of giving, I thought why not broach this important wellness subject.
Because most over-givers don’t realize that they are strivers and seriously affecting their own well-being.
I’m speaking from experience here. I wrestle with over-giver and I can tell you, it’s harmful to your health.
I over give to the point of adrenal fatigue and total exhaustion.
The funny thing is, I don't realize it until I am totally depleted.
If you’re an over giver, you may not realize it, but I’m hoping what I have to share here will help you to see the signs so you can catch yourself before you hit rock bottom like I did.
How can giving and helping others be bad?, you might be wondering.
Here’s the deal….
Giving initially comes from a good place. An intention of wanting to help others.
If you’re a giver, you have a big heart and you love to help others.
Where we can get into trouble is this...
Too often givers give too much and become over-givers.
Over givers are those who have a tendency to do too much. To take on too much. To help others to the point of depleting themselves.
Yet over giving is often over looked because as a society we’ve been told that the more we do, the better we are.
We have a long history of service to others as well as pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
Along the way we’ve learned that doing is better than not doing. Action is better than inaction.
Doing and giving are seen as strengths. While receiving is perceived as a weakness.
Or at least that’s what most of us have been taught from a young age.
Afterall, you don’t want to be idle and unproductive, where will that get you in life? (So you've been told.)
But somehow, in the middle of all of this over doing and over giving, we can lose ourselves.
We can give to the point of exhaustion. We can give so much we don’t know how to receive. We can mistake our giving for being generous, when it fact we’re using it to identify ourselves as a “good person”
When we over give, we miss out on the beautiful gift of receiving.
Receiving support. Receiving someone’s else's gift. (All givers need a receiver!) Receiving insight. Receiving quiet. Receiving connection.
Today we have an epidemic of over doing and over giving. This epidemic is especially affecting women who are trying to be it all, do it all, give it all and have it all.
Somehow in the strive for excellency and altruism, we’ve become depleted, exhausted and disconnected from an important part of ourselves.
The part of ourselves that craves balance. The part of us that thrives from not just doing, but also receiving. The part of us that’s actually more powerful when it’s nurtured and filled up.
No one told us that in order to be more, we may just have to do less.
It’s ironic, but true.
And what I’ve come to know is that no one is going to do this for you.
No one is going to come and take you by the hand and tell you to stop doing, stop achieving, stop over-giving. (Well, except maybe me!)
You have to decide that you are going to allow yourself to experience receiving.
And that receiving is not only okay, it’s healthy. It’s good. And you are worth it.
You are not less than when you say no. Or take a step back. Or slow down. Or take time out for self-care.
In fact, you become more. And this receiving side of things is not only good but essential if you want to keep giving and helping others.
So it's simple....
If you want to give, you must receive.
This holiday season, my wish for you is that you give yourself the gift of both Giving and Receiving.
I will be taking a sabbatical through the holidays. . It is time for me to pull back and take care of myself. I am positioning myself to receive rest, quiet, reflection, insight, connection with My Lord and King and to fully engage and enjoy the joy of this season in simplicity. I will not be participating much in the groups. I am restoring my health and preparing for a wonderful New Year.
I have so many new ideas for 2019 and beyond. Ideas to help with getting healthy and living the life you were created to live. Stay tuned, 2019 is going to be an AMAZING year.
In Health and Gratitude,
Becoming New Again Wellness
Helping those who have lost hope to live comfortably and confidently in their own skin.
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